Jacob Hill | Day 12
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Day 12

12 Jul Day 12

No day 11, read day 10 here.

Day 12

Sunday 12th July 2015


I haven’t written for a day because not much has happened to be honest. Steven suggested this movie for us to watch called Mr Nice. It’s about a kid who went to Oxford University and started selling weed, he said I could relate to it. Cheers Steven, cheers! It was on at Saturday 1.40am. So I slept most of yesterday.


Highlight of yesterday was finally getting my phone pin! Get the champagne out! The downer is the realisation that the staff would have had it in their tray since Friday or Saturday morning at the latest (seriously!!) First I called Emily, Mum and Dad however speaking to my sister Joanne is the conversation which has hit me hard the most. She told me that her youngest of 11 years cried when she found out where I was so I had to speak to her and explain that I was naughty and deserve to be here. I told her I was being well looked after and she seemed to calm down and be okay. In contrast I spoke to her older sister who is a dreaded 13 year old who typically had no sympathy haha. I have to laugh because deep down I know I have let them down. I am older than them and I should be leading by example. I am really disappointed in myself. I probably won’t see them for the rest of my sentence. This is no place for a child.


Back to the present. I spoke with Nan who sounded really happy to hear from me. She was worried I wasn’t being looked after but I reassured her that I was well fed and would be starting my job any day soon. She said she would sleep easier now which does make me happier that I can make her feel a little bit better.


Later that day


I’ve just been for exercise in the courtyard and met three lads who saw themselves as Armley’s comedians which was strange as they were in for assault or kidnapping. It still seems crazy that I am meeting people who have done these crimes. I would never have met these people on the outside except in a very unfortunate situation. When was the last time you spoke to someone who abducted his mate and left him 100 miles away from his house without socks and shoes because he was texting his mates Mrs behind his back? I bet it wasn’t very recently? These comedians thought it would be funny to shout, ‘I never knew you were in for touching kids!’ In front of everyone on the exercise yard. I jestingly punched him on the arm (held my breath) and it was laughed off. This is such a huge risk because he could have seen it as a major disrespect and they could have all turned on me and I would be dead before the officers could call for back-up. Although, there is an officer watching over the yard… that’s one officer to 50 lads! No way would they get through all of them to save little me. I cannot begin to imagine how horrible it could have gone in another situation. Its an upside down world in here. A combination of being known as a drug dealer and having a degree level education means people leave me to it really, there’s no bullying and I often get asked to write letters for those who struggle. It’s quite nice to be able to help.


I also ordered canteen today, I spent about £29 on necessities like washing powder, shampoo, deodorant (roll on), phone credit, repaying my debt to Steven for sorting me a card for Mum’s birthday and five first class stamps. I’m hoping I’ll get my job tomorrow but I’m willing to wait until Friday at which point I will continue to do absolutely nothing about it. Not like I can actually do anything as I am just a number in the system.


The innovation of prison astounds me! I have received three letters so far and from two of them Steven was able to save the stamps. He put the envelopes over the boiling kettle which softened the glue. I could then peel them off and reapply the stamps to a blank envelope. Awesome.


Ey up, as I am writing about innovation, Steven is demonstrating it right now! Good old Steven just dismantled a drawer. I asked him why, he replied with, ‘Isn’t it obvious?… I’m making a shelf’

‘Oh…’ I asked ‘Can I have one too?’

‘Yeah, we’ll put it in that corner above your bunk’

‘Awesome, thanks!’


He used an old screw to score the pencil marked wood. He marked the wood by attaching the pencil to some string and holding the string on the corner of the wood and drew an amazing curve. As he was scoring the wood, he kept wiping it with a wet cloth to break it down more and more until it broke clean apart.

After this, he sanded down the edges on each shelf. Amazing right? It gets better… He proceeded to stick each shelf to the corner of the wall by combining the prison issue coffee whitener with a drop of water which forms an extremely strong adhesive like concrete. Why anyone would put this in their drinks is beyond me. I mean, can you imagine that in your body! Really glad I ration my 200ml of UHT milk carefully. He did all this without a level or a ruler. Prison is truly full of innovative, skilled people. Now I can have a book and cup shelf right next to my bed to keep me from jumping out all the time – woo! Ikea, eat your heart out!


Later that day


I’ve actually had quite a busy day today. In my last break I spoke with Mum and Mark. Everyone seems to be in high spirits. Dad has been going to Church and this week he might be taking Poppy. Emily has been involved with my family. My happiness is literally being outsourced, the fact everyone is meeting in my memory/absence (I know, I’m not dead) fills me with joy.


I answered a letter from my mum with an even longer letter. I even managed to send her a birthday card. I will see her on Friday for my first ever visit inside this cage and it will be her birthday so I will actually be able to hug her in person. Thinking about it has made me hungry for some love and affection. I need a good cuddle and to let them know I am okay. It will also help me to stop me from worrying that they are worrying about me. Confusing.


Mum informed me that Colin is communicating with the Isle of Man and trying to win back the contract. I hope he can but if not, I will make it work somehow, I always do! Mum, Dad, Helen, Colin and maybe Rachelle will be having a meeting on Monday 13th July at home. I know I will be well represented and they would make all the decisions I would have either wanted or conformed to as I trust their judgement.


I’ve submitted a further eight names on the approved visitors list and all is well in the world.


It’s funny, problems I knew then, just do not exist anymore. No more ‘needing’ to call someone back or reply to shitty emails from people I can’t really be arsed with. It’s a much simpler life. Thank God I have my writing and family on the outside that unconditionally love me. Despite all of this, I am a lucky guy.

Read the next day here


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