Jacob Hill | Excerpt from Dear Emily, Part 1, Day 17.
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Excerpt from Dear Emily, Part 1, Day 17.

19 Jun Excerpt from Dear Emily, Part 1, Day 17.

A visiting hall similar to Armley

On the 1st July 2015 I spent my first night in prison, I immediately started writing about my experience for Emily to read upon my release. What was meant to be a comforter for my first night became a healthy obsession over the course of my 42 week sentence. I wrote religiously most evenings just summing up the day.

I remember once seeing a guy overdose on spice and all the lads standing around this pale, lifeless, young man as nurses attached him to a heart monitor, gave him CPR and saved his life. Then, just 2 days later he’s back in work with a big smile on his face laughing as all his mates called him a ‘Dickhead’. Spice was formerly a legal high and prisons are struggling with the vast quantity of spice in the system. When I was there, I would say 60 – 70% of the guys were smoking it.

I remember another time when my neighbour started smashing his pad up so he could get moved off wings, he must have been in debt to other prisoners. It was over lunch but the banging was horrendous as he took his sink off the wall with his small bedside cupboard. I watched through a slight gap in my 7 foot steel door as six officers all dressed in their riot gear and one with a video camera raided the lad’s pad next door, there was a bit of a kerfuffle and all of the sudden they were carrying this guy like a coffin around his arms and around his legs, elevated off the ground facing the floor. They took him off the wing down to the seg (segregation unit). Looking back on that image still makes me laugh today. What an odd world I was trapped in.

Below is a snippet from Part 1 of my prison diary. Part 1 is only 19 days long so I will be releasing that every evening from the 1st July.

I will also be releasing additional content and day 1 a day earlier exclusively to my subscribers.I cannot urge you enough to sign up to this now.

Dear Emily
Part 1 – Armley Gaol

Friday 17th July 2015
Day 17

Today is mum’s birthday, her gift was getting to come and see me with Nan and Emily.
It was my first ever visit in prison, I actually felt nervous and anxious. What if they didn’t recognise me? What if they couldn’t bare to look at me? What if they just cried through the whole visit, or even worse… said nothing at all?

I don’t think it helped that I had just bought some freshly ground coffee beans off a lad for a couple of smokes then Stan and I enjoyed a fine americano courtesy of yours truly, helping my friend’s coffee business before coming in clearly paid off.
I had no idea what my family would look like or what I would say, it was genuinely scary. Scared of your own family, picture that. I have not felt fear like this since I got here and when they opened that door to the visit room, my stomach was in knots, I could have thrown up.
Nan couldn’t move or look at me with trying to hold her tears in, I just gave her a big hug and she seemed to calm down then.
Mum and Emily were a bit sheepish, I imagine they all had a big discussion as to let me talk and lead the one hour visit just so I got everything I wanted to say off my chest. Mum still regularly interrupted about her pets and all the well wishers and I was glad she did.

I missed them all before they even left when I knew I would have to go back to wonders of C wing.


This is just a small excerpt from part 1 of Dear Emily. For exclusive content and the launch a day early you can subscribe below.

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  • gareth bullen
    Posted at 16:00h, 19 June Reply

    Great post another ex offender who’s being helped by Tempus Novo said he was sent to Armley for 6 years to teach him a lesson, but he said he didn’t need 6 years after 6 days he knew he never wanted to go back to a place like that.

    • JacobHill
      Posted at 09:10h, 20 June Reply

      It couldn’t have been said better. I found being on bail absolutely awful and probably worse than being in prison. It was the not knowing and the waiting to be sentenced. I am so glad I do not have to go through that again.

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